In the most recent episode of the Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith sat down with the “Queens of the Curry Dynasty”: Ayesha Curry, the wife of Steph Curry, Steph’s mother, Sonya Curry, his sister, Sydel Curry-Lee, and his future sister-in-law, Callie Rivers. Jada, Gammy, and Willow engaged in a vulnerable and provoking conversation with the Curry women on their experiences navigating and balancing work, family, and relationships as spouses of prominent men. This conversation went viral, especially through Black Twitter (including all other Black social media spaces), but for all the wrong reasons. The reactions started from a short clip of Ayesha mentioning how a perceived lack of attention from men, who are not her husband, feeds her insecurity. This moment of transparency from Ayesha struck a nerve and sparked a wave of backlash against her.
Before I get to the heart of this piece, let me share my interpretation of this moment. When Ayesha talked about her insecurities and expressed she gets “zero male attention”, all the women at the red table agreed Ayesha’s “radar was turned off”, meaning she is not aware that men do find her attractive. In other words, Ayesha Curry’s feelings of insecurity are shaped by her being so focused on herself, her family, and her man, she cannot recognize the bids for her attention from other men.
While I’m not above getting a good chuckle when Black Twitter decides to go in, I quickly became disappointed when the negative reactions to this sound bite overshadowed the responses to critical questions women are asking and answering in safe spaces. So, I am highlighting things we seemed to have missed from this conversation:
Commitment at different stages in life- Sonya discussed loving and connecting with your partner across various life stages, from courtship through empty nesting.
The benefits of having a sense of self- Ayesha shared how enhancing her sense of self keeps her grounded and makes her a stronger partner.
Balancing work life, mom life, wife life- need I say more.
Managing guilt and self-doubt- Ayesha brought up a question many women have asked themselves in their effort to balance it all: Am I cheating myself? My kids? My man?
Dealing with disrespectful women- Jada, Sony, and Ayesha all disclosed their truths regarding women trying to shoot their shot with their husbands. They also discussed how they hold their husbands accountable for addressing this issue.
Navigating race and colorism- Callie and Ayesha opened up about their experiences navigating white and black communities as bi-racial women. Sonya contributed to this dialogue by referencing her experience in Black culture as a fair-skinned Black woman.
Anxiety in women- a very important conversation on anxiety was stimulated by Sydel and Willow, with Jada mentioning a helpful coping strategy she uses with Willow to help her redirect anxious thinking.
The blessing of safe spaces- Sonya become tearful as she expressed her joy from being at the table with women she loves and respects and having a vulnerable conversation in a comfortable space.
Sonya Curry called this conversation a blessing. If you have ever experienced being in a space like Red Table Talk, if you have ever experienced the weight lifting off your shoulders after you shared your truth, if you have ever experienced the wisdom you gained from other people speaking life into you, then you understand why safe spaces are a blessing. You also know why it is important to never shame someone for telling their truth.
Please take a moment to see the full conversation, copy and past the following link: https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/621830118291335/ .
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